Ok, so I learned something about myself yesterday and today, I can't do everything on my own. Hi Schizz, hope and pray you are doing ok and staying well along with everyone there. Been on that depression roller coaster again, been blue as you can tell from my last post, miss you so much, sometimes it gets discouraging but I am still here, just been both mentally drained and now physically drained. Dog-gone it anyway, I want to do so much because the weather had been pretty the last few days, so I thought I'd do some spring cleaning. So I began with my son's room. I figured it would be nice just to help him out because he has done so for his sister and I the last few weeks with putting gas in the car. Now's here's the kicker, I put a full size bed in his room which required me to take out his old bunk bed. Looked easy enough right? My older sister Jennie moves furniture around in her house and such all the time, so I should be able too...well when I was younger, it never really bothered me to do all that too.
The bunk bed was sorta difficult to move by myself, I did however get the top bunk out of the room by myself when my son came home.."Mom what are you doing?" Needless to say he helped me get the rest of it out. I know you'd probably give me a lecture, I am almost positive seeing now I can hardly walk today because my legs are so stiff and sore...sorry. I get this from my parents, mom was out the other day removing an old tree stump (Little tree) rotted... but still, she'd be out there trying to do that even if it was a redwood. I wish I knew why, only to say we ladies are stubborn .
I am going to try and finish up my artwork today since I hadn't yet being outside landscaping most of the time. I am sorry Stephen for being so down, its just like I said, I miss you and just want to be part of your life, sharing what you are doing. I truly miss talking to you and listening to your wonderful stories..they seem to perk me up all the time. Always miss your smile and the touch of your hand!
Hope you are behaving better than I have and haven't been pushing yourself. LOVE YOU SO, SO,VERY MUCH SWEETHEART, please take care of yourself, lve to everybody! Check in tomorrow.
Being without a permanent companion of the opposite sex so as to touch and love can really make me feel blue. I do enjoy having time to myself, but that needs to be limited in my case. Although my time is spent doing artwork, running errands and visiting my family, its the other times I miss.
I suppose for most that once a bad relationship is through, going back doesn't seem very desirable. Makes sense especially when your life is better and more full filled with friends and time to do whatever you want without any hassles from a mate. I have been widowed for eight years now , its amazing to me how friends and family members talk about all the negative things their spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends do. I think about maybe I am not good because I am a female, when I hear men talk about how women change after they become their wives, hypocritical, cold and harsh. Am I a bad person? Was I a good wife? Would I be a good wife if I got re-married? or would a man be better off without me?
On the same token, I hear how wives speak about their men, you would think they were the most vile creatures on earth. Which for the most part isn't true, there are good men.
Being single is no good especially for those of us who were once married. If you can stand it single ..I guess it works and if you have already been single it works anyway, but both cases in today's society, it dangerous as it is. Some think that sex is as nothing more sacred than changing clothing, pat on the back, or just part of everyday life like brushing your teeth. From 0-100 in a minute without any thought that they as a person may be giving up the most precious part of who they are inside, the inner beauty of the spirit .
As a widow all these years, I can stand back and watch all of this and it makes me so sad. I know Schizz, so many times, you have said it, "That is life ,not all of it is bad" and I know you are right. I just want to have that band of security, a chance to prove once more that you are right that there is good in you and I and all who believe like we do. What our parents have and had weren't just a part of a past culture dream of a solid union but a real bond as one in Christ. Love is pure and healing once more. As long as we have faith, with Christ always before us and with us, all of us, who can be against us.
Simply, honestly and truly, I love you Stephen, for everyday and always.
There is just somethings that Batman can't fix..I say that because Scott was babysitting his nephew, you know my great nephew Brendan. Brendan is learning potty training and you know those tell-tale signs of holding yourself. Remember I told you how Scott imitates the new Batman so well, right down to the facial and head movements. After trying to urge Brendan to go potty, Scott finally does his famous Batman telling Brendan "Batman wants you to go pee-pee." (That had to be funny in head gesture , voice and in dialog) Brendan states simply "But I don't want to go pee-pee Batman!" So it can be said that even super heroes can't solve all life's problems right?
I think I over did it yesterday working outside. My back and hip are hurting. I remember my dad using a tennis ball whenever his back was bothering him. He would lie down on the tennis ball where the pain was and move himself around on it for awhile like exercising. I have been using my exercising ball today, it has helped but now my stomach is bothering me. I had to laugh though, I was doing this watching "The Dark Knight'', I liked the movie but every time Batman would talk it reminded me of how my nephew Scott imitates that actor, Scott has got him down to a T. So it was difficult to watch it without chuckling to myself.
My daughter wants another sleep over with her friend(more like a sister) Crystal tonight, so after my son gets home from work, I'll have to venture out to get her.
Don't worry Stephen Sweetheart, that is all I'm planning to do tonight, driving wise, the rest of the night, I'm working on my art.
I know you are watching over your family there or they are watching over you..lol. Worry about you too,so please do what you are supposed to to stay out of trouble and keep yourself healthy!
Yesterday I planted some starts of bushes. No big deal, so I thought, but for some reason I am stiff and like I said my back and hip have been bothering me. You know the kind of hurt where its just enough where you can tolerate it but enough to make you miserable.
Hope you are having a good evening and taking it easy. So want to be with you, dreamed you had sent me a ticket to ride on an airplane to come see you . I had never rode on an airplane in my whole life, funny how that dream came to be huh? However the dream ended with seeing and waving at you. If only dreams could make that happen, that what the mind wants it gets you know, instead of waking up and succumbing to where the body is rather than the mind.
If I was there right now, I'd desire cuddling close to you just to drink in the warmth of your body! So I just have to send my love, my embraces and delicate kisses across cyberspace. You have a wonderful evening, I love you so much, love to everyone there and I'll check in tomorrow!
Even though its cloudy , rainy but warm, its still a wonderful day, today is my mother's birthday as well as The Boston Marathon.
My dad was taking her out and I am sure he was ornery like ever to those who waited on them at Der Dutchman in Plain City.
I am sure too, that among all those competing today in the marathon, someone is celebrating a birthday, so an extra wish for them to end up in the lead!
Happy birthday to my beautiful mother who turned 78 today ,still timeless in her beauty...Love you mom!
Had a nice visit with my folks, the kids and I. Feeling pretty wiped out, its raining again so that doesn't help. The Olentangy's 38th Arts Festival was nice. All the kids did a great job! It was both Middle School and High School students.
Everyone is doing fine and things seem to be ok, except my brother and his family are being anti-sociable and treating all of us the same, making mom feel terrible about herself. I really wish I understood why. Upsets me to no end.
Got to see my sisters and Scott anyway. So glad they aren't that way.
Pray all of you are doing ok Schizz, always worry about how you are getting along, you always make me feel good about everything in my life, you care so much about your family and even us..so thank you sweetheart!
I wanted to share some more pics with you before I sign off tonight. You have a pleasant rest of the evening, get some rest, so you feel good in the morning, love you so, so very much Stephen, pray you take care of yourself and I will write you tomorrow!
Closer picture of my daughter's artwork at the festival
The portrait Above this one is the one I did for mom and dad's 50th, The portrait here is the four of us kids I did some years back,
My Grandma Wyvonna (Price, Wells) Flemming ,
Dad's mom
It has been a nice warm night, its just my daughter and I , my son had to work. We spent the evening thus far watching the movie "Heaven Is For Real." What a wonderful depiction of faith. I believe what Christ spoke of in The Bible to get to the core of our being when we are adults we need to grasp the spirit of our inner child to see Heaven. Amazing and beautiful movie based off of a true story....definitely a must see. I borrowed it from the library..so glad I did.
Wondering how your evening is going for you Stephen, bet its a nice evening there in Amesbury, Ma. I bet you wondering what started me on sharing pictures again. I have been fishing through my photo album ad sorting out pictures again. I do that when I need a reference point for my artwork at times, mainly though its to stroll down memory lane. Just like to share the trip with you!
My daughter has got her arts festival tomorrow, so while my son is at work, my daughter and I will be there. Then we are going out to see my folks.
I know I will be thinking of you all the time I am over there, always do. I had a nice dream about you and I last night. We were walking along a hiking trail talking, then you had to leave, I got bummed and I woke up. Strange huh? I guess that isn't a surprise.
Hope you enjoy the next set of pictures, love you so very much Steve, please have a good day tomorrow, I'll write you when I get home!
Last day that I worked for Big Bear, best place I ever worked for
"The Sun Fish" The boat that Grandpa Havens built and is captaining in this picture at Delaware Dam.
Taken in our Grandpa and Grandma Havens home, left to right,
Vick, Jenn, me and Carl.
Its early again I know, but I could imagine snuggling next to you right now. Hope you had a good Friday , that it went fast so you could enjoy the beautiful weather we were having. Thinking about how you days go, always do, wondering how all of you are. You know I always think about you the most.
Its nice nights like this that I wish we were together honestly so I could dress in a favorite gown of yours and spend it just having a gentle waltz out in the back yard. I know that sounds sort of corny but its nice just the same. I know you would look handsome no matter what you wear, you always have.
Please have sweet dreams tonight darling man, I love you so much, get some rest and relax this weekend, I will check in later on today!
Us three girls, left to right -me, Jennie and Vickie
The only picture I ever liked of myself as an adult, I know, I.m picky
I know I jumped on here tonight, sorry about that, believe me my heart is always yours and that's the best. I thought I better put more of my posts to you on here because the other one is getting full.
Hope and pray you are doing fine tonight and resting well, its rainy here, my mom always said the rain makes a person sleepy. I am thinking about you sweetheart and pray your family is all doing well. Things here are quiet.
I'm not sure, but I think you like The Boston Symphony, they are wonderful. I listen to a lot of their concerts on the radio but I don't have any of their CD's. I really enjoy doing my artwork while listening to them.
Yawning so much now, so hopefully I will get some sleep, I did my workout with on of those large exercise balls and I am sore, The real cool thing is the time goes by fast with it. I am working with my stepper too!
I will say it, I just want to look good and feel good again but mostly I want to look good for you, to make you proud!
Love you so, so very much Stephen , please be taking care of yourself and being careful going back and forth to the office. With all my love, I send you many hugs and kisses tonight and for the morning!
Thought this would be good for the morning, after all it's me a while back with " Tony The Tiger" snap shot when I worked in "The Bulk Food" department at "Big Bear".
Although I don't think it possible, but I'd like to get my weight down at least as close as I can to how much I weighed then..here's hoping and praying! Love you Shizz!
Sorry its so late, I'd thought I'd write on this Blog tonight, have so many on "Heart's Music" but there's nothing wrong with the heart having a best friend!
Had to dodge thunderstorms on here because the lighting was sorta friendly. Ever since my brother got hit and almost died from a lighting strike, I get leery of using anything electrical. I think lighting likes this family, my brother and grandpa both have been struck by lighting..I just don't want to be on the list. Hope you are doing fine and keeping safe yourself. Thinking about you so much, you know that. I always look east out my window and wonder how you are doing. I pray all your family are doing well too.
I still have to get myself in for my yearly mammogram, been putting it off not for any reason other I just keep forgetting. As my son would say 'My Bad".
Wish I was with you, always do, so I could be in your arms tonight and for always. I love you very much Stephen, so I send my kisses and hugs to you with a whisper "I love you tonight, tomorrow and forever" Have a wonderful day! I will check in a little later!!!
Best Spring Flower Of All! Would be great if a person could send the fragrance of Lilac through cyberspace...LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH STEVE!!!!!!!!!!
