Very Early. But Very Much Awake Thinking About You!

Up with the kids for the school.day hussle.   Went to bed last night with you very much on my mind,and got up with you on my mind. This pretty much normal.
   I wish you could feel how much I need you, I say that because it can get unbearable,  I wonder because it's so strong.
   I fantasize how wonderful it would be to come to Amesbury  Massachusetts and see you at your home and what a happyt time it would and will be.  I know I say it hundreds of times. All what is going on here with my brothers crud, leaving my sisters and I helping our parents , it's so bad that when I call sometimes my mom and sisters always ask if I am on speaking terms with them.  Of course I am. They just have been so worried about if they say anything offensive. ...not fair at all.
    I just need to find a good time to see ya, you know when it settles down a little when I won't worry...I know when don't I do that.  I worry about you, you are busy. Timing when you are home is kinda hard, it has to be, you all have packed schedules.  I have two biggest fears.  One is getting up there and you aren't home and two, showing up at the wrong time and upsetting every body.  That can be troublesome.  I always have call before I go out to my folks, just polite,  when I don't,  it messes up their schedule.
   Just have to pick a time to come and spend some time to visit your home town, stay at a hotel or something.
   I can think about how that dream could come true. To savor and marvel your bright smile and eyes and handsome face.  Bathe in you refreshing east coast accent, clothe my trembling body in your arms and wrap myself in the security of your love.
  I always dream, sometimes I cry because,  maybe it's lost, maybe I would come there and you wouldn't want me there, that things and people have changed in your life. If only I could be absolutely sure I wouldn't be walking into a nightmare that would end my world completely .   You would be fine,  your happiness means a lot to me.
   You have a good day,  I love you so many times over.  Even though I can't touch or see you I pray God will always keep you safe, happy,healthy and blessed. You will never know how much you mean to me and how I treasure you.  I always belong to you 💕😊💋