What a stressful two days, The Calling hours were ...well not good. Gary looked a little bloated and his hands had started to wrinkle, my late husband Jeff had looked so much like him, so seeing dad in the casket was extremely hard, especially for my daughter who started to cry instantly along with myself. My son was very quiet. Gary and Pat's Pastor was nasty to us(real christian like wasn't it) he always hated us, so that really shouldn't had surprised me any. We had never said or did anything to even deserve being treated that way. I should have known some lies were said about us because he always praises my late husband unkind sister , her husband and son (my nephew).
The kids and I came home and I was in tears, I had to call mom and dad to tell them what happened. I had told them that Gary's life wasn't even recognized, his childhood, his brother or sister, parents, or his other grandchildren in pictures.
Kristy's (Jeff's sister) son, her and her husband were all the focus in the pictures and slide presentation, while Jeff wasn't pictured, not his brother Steve and his wife, their kids , My kids nor I as well.
Gary's sister Pauline was so happy to see the kids and I and introduced us as Gary's grandchildren and daughter-in-law. Gary was born when Pauline was 16, and helped her mom , dad raise her brother. She will be 85 next week and last of her family. Bless her heart, she was thinking about everyone. The calling hours ended with Steve and Dorothy's daughter in tears along with my daughter for all the thoughtlessness. On top of everything else, the planter that I signed all my family and I's name too, couldn't be found. The way we were treated, I was so scared, Kristy and her husband threw it out.
Mom was so worried that was going to happen and fretted that they wouldn't let my son be pall-bearer for his grandpa.
The Funeral came and was held at their church, My son looked so nice and so grown up , there was no problem with him as Pall-bearer and I made sure that the kids and I were the third car in the line-up to the cemetery. The ceremony, again really wasn' t about Gary, the pastor turned it into a sermon and read Gary's obituary out loud . Keep in mind most of these people I have known since I met my late husband and probably wondered why, I was never mentioned. Again, my nephew (Kristy's son) was acclaimed as the only one that Gary would miss out of his grandchildren(This of course wasn't true) Kristy, her husband, their son and step daughter had a front row seat in front of the Pastor and was glorifying her self with his words.
I was so upset as it was because Gary's coffin was open and everything that had happened the day before, I only hugged Pat as we were going out after viewing Gary, I didn't hug Kristy , nor her husband, nor my kids or Steve and Dorothy's kids. We had enough. Like mom told me, if I didn't feel like it, I didn't have to.
We all drove out to the cemetery, now before the service, Steve's wife, Dorothy had confided in me how upset she was about how we all were being treated and when she confronted Pat about this, she had stated it was because we weren't around much and this was eating Dorothy up, so when we reached the cemetery, I think it just had reached it's boiling point. Gary was placed beside Jeff's grave and seeing Gary's coffin and Jeff's headstone, it got to me, Gary had the same color casket Jeff did too/. Dorothy made it plain that the kids and I stand up beside her and behind Pat, Steve and Pauline and made sure we all got a flower from Gary's spray.
We all broke up and started to talk to all who had attended the graveside service. Kristy wanted to get a picture of her son William beside the casket. William and his dad were wondering around the cemetery, but instead of just going to get them, she screeched at them, bound to get that picture and a picture of her mom, Dorothy , Steve and all of the kids in front of it too. I wasn't paying any attention to this until, Dorothy and her got in a fight and the voices started to raise.
This was all happening in front of Gary's Casket . I heard Kristy yell at Dorothy ' You know what, you just ruined it for her" in truth , it was for herself. This grabbed the funeral director and attendant's attention. According to my daughter who witnessed all this, Dorothy, didn't want her picture taken in front of the casket . Kristy just threw a fit, and stomped off "I had enough of this" complained we were all selfish"...Really? Selfish, if anyone was being selfish it was her..It almost reminded me of the fights Jeff and her used to get into, only Dorothy called her what we all wanted to but never had the guts to say. I repeat and I quote "I'm going to dunk that B..I ---and so on" This she said to Steve,honesty I think he enjoyed it. My daughter sure did. So did my parents, when I told them.
Dorothy didn't know we knew what she said but I thanked her for standing up for us and my sure appreciated it. I know this episode will be the talk of Willard, for a long time. Kristy most assuredly was disrespectful to her family but especially to her father's memory. This upset my son very much.
They finally found the planter " they misplaced it" I was told until the church ceremony, not sure why, although, I am still suspicious. My daughter placed a rose on her dad's grave before we headed home.
I felt so hurt for dad's memory, I posted my memories of the stories and things he loved on Facebook. I am also constructing a video in his memory with picture of us all and his family. I feel that's only right.
I knew Gary for 22 years and he'd been like a second dad to me. The one memory that sticks out is the times we went to Bowling Green, Ohio to watch the tractor pulling championship. He always rooted for The Red International Harvesters and The Orange Allis Chalmers . Whenever the tractors were successful in pulling the sled out it was always "Full Pull"
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